Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Getting a plan so we can organize our plan to plan

Burning man shopping has commenced. Tickets have been purchased today and our tent, cot, camp stove, picnic table, sleeping bag, 2 chairs, and various LED lights are on their way to my house. I find myself focusing on the details on the things I can plan and prepare for. On the packing and the checklists... so many lists! I have Need Lists and Want Lists and Already Purchased Lists. Costume ideas,  food ideas, and shoes. Pinterest is a mess, my notebook is a mess. All I keep trying to do is get less messy and working these lists simply provokes more inspiration of more things to be done.

So where is the break in all this ranting to be genuine? I think I found it. I've realized I can ask all the questions, and read all the blog stories, and advice I want. I can absorb guidance from friends and family, and continue to mull over all my lists. I can be prepared physically.

When was the last time new experience you have absolutely no reference for?

However I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. Really no clue. I can't begin to imagine the smells, sounds and actual feelings of being there. I can't prepare myself for the emotions I'll feel. I feel like I'm going in blind and that part is really starting to scare me. This will be the first time in a very long time that I will do something that I have nothing in my past to really compare it to. 

So here I am terrified, of being exposed. Both emotionally and possibly somewhat physically, but openly exposed in a way I never have been before. That this may not be as amazing as the wonderful thing that I have imagined, what if it just isn't good enough. What if its not worth the suffering and I'm not the camper I used to be, and lack of pillow-top mattresses and overpriced coffee actually peels back my tough exterior to expose the city girl that lurks underneath.

I see it going grand. I think I'll be fine to camp and figure out how to make real food while we're there. I'll appropriately press my fashion limits to just beyond my usual level of comfort. I'll take the time to meet more new people than I usually would and find an easy way to get to know them in just a few questions. (suggestions are welcomed). And then there's a little question mark, in the very back of what if?

And all I have now is 6 months (TO THE DAY) to dwell on it.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, that is so cool that you are going. I would have no idea what to bring either! Often, I get so nervous before new events, but once I am there, I love it. I am sure its going to be an amazing experience. Can't wait to hear all about it!!!