Saturday, September 21, 2013

Socially Invoked Mom Guilt

I stopped by the bank on my way home on Tuesday; a mom from Pretty Girl's School happens to work at my bank. At 5:30 on a Tuesday, she causally inquired where my daughter is. A simple enough question that happens to invoke one of the few feelings I despise most as being a mom...  Mom guilt. Massive mom guilt.

My parents live 5 miles from me. On most Tuesdays my amazing parents pick up munchkin and take me off payroll for the night. I tend to spend the time running errands before relaxing with the DJ but still, standing in the bank, I felt guilty. "I have the night off" doesn't feel sufficient but "my parents take her at least once a week so I don't go postal" seems like a bit of an over-share. So the sweet Mom who works at the bank was forced into mildly awkward silence, in the quiet of the bank, as I evaluated my options. What level of honest was I willing I offer?

Why are we so afraid of other parents. Why do other parents' opinions weigh in so high on our personal scale of concerns? I can't answer those questions. Which really bothers me if we're being honest... 

I'm proud of my life. I know that nights off are good for me. I know that P and I are closer given our space and my time off. But in the bank. Faced with another mom it felt like a cop out. I finally answered her question with something like 'oh my folks have her...' Then qualified it with how much my mom works in the classroom and my work schedule. With any luck someday ill remove the qualifiers. 

1 comment:

  1. Mom guilt is the worst. And totally unnecessary. We measure ourselves against other moms in a way that makes us mean, competitive, not compassionate, and unfriendly. Sometimes we are the receiving end, sometimes we are the one dishing out the judgement. I think it's always important to give yourself a reality check. And to be honest. I think motherhood needs more honesty. Also, any day we can ship P and O off together and get into trouble sounds good to me lol