The San Diego Airport Story

"what do you think I should write about"
"me"
"what about you"
"That I'm cute and cuddly and adorable. I have three dogs, and an auntie and a grandma and a whole ginormous family" (Yes, ginormous is in her vocabulary)

This was my suggestion from P today. As we sit in the San Diego airport. Its funny how life imitates art as art imitates life. As she said this all I could say is, "that is just about all I do talk about, love." My good little traveler is continuing to read as I type which is not usually the case. She's much more likely to be watching netflix, creating epic sagas with her mounds of unusual characters in her room, or splashing in the pools with the dogs. It's a little funny to listen to her read the words as they pour out of my head.

Usually we are not sitting in an airport with 4 hours to go before our flight. Even though this week (that I'll recap in a separate post) has been a very busy one, and totally worth it. I could do without 4 hours at the airport. People watching does make it easier.

Airports have always been an interesting place to me, so much transition, so many people mildly anxious about their next step, about all the things that travel brings. New places, new foods, new sights, or smells. So many ready to go home, much like us, you can see it in their faces. Too much sun, maybe also a few too many cocktails. Recovering from days of rich food and super soft beds lead to feeling a little dazed while awaiting our boarding call. Looking for the comforts of home on the other side of this flight.

killing time

Among the typical airport chaos The World Cup is raging on behind me. While I'm not a soccer fan, the whole process is interesting. I'm glad so see the US doing well, and so many cultures brought together. The tiny airport bar, usually only frequented by day drinkers and business travelers that need use of their outlets, is currently standing room only as fans shout, gasp, and sigh with each turn of events. It makes me want to be more passionate about it, but really I'll probably just continue to admire those dedicated fans and read the recaps tomorrow online.

I think I like airports because of the people they bring together. So many faces, going so many different destinations. A million story-lines to be fulfilled. I'm really a little surprised there aren't more stories that involve airports and their travelers, it all seems so full of potential.

A link share due to distraction

I'm supposed to be writing. I put Tuesday nights aside just to write.  Usually I'm good about it. 2 to 3 posts, formatted at the least. Tonight isn't that. Tonight I'm listening to Orange is the New Black and reading some of my favorites. I'm "supposed" to be writing. Which is funny. Like many, this is a hobby. I work 45 hours a week, I'm a full time mom, I work in things like exercise, friendship, cooking and cleaning. I try new recipes, vacuum my floors, and walk the dogs most nights. On Tuesdays I hide out with the DJ and usually write. Tonight choose to share some of this weeks favorite posts:

Erin went to Serendipity - yes the bakery, from the movie. This link is mostly about jealousy really. mmm it all looks so good.

Taylor shared some of her doubts  - I fully commit to my anxiety being based in "reasonable caution" but that is really quite a crock of a crap so her story hit home a bit with me.

Kari posted about making new friends in our 20s -Let's be honest, after college there seems to be some sort of secret handshake that no one told us. She really hits the nail on the head about the lack of options.

Helene just got back from Vegas: Always read the Vegas reviews ladies, they'll help immensely with tips and tricks your next trip. Helene also became a meme this week - uneducated, but amusing none the less.

What is a blog post that got you distracted this week?

Some Pinterest Love for Sunday Social

I'm joining Ashley and Neely with their link-up today for Sunday Social! Visit one of their pages to find the full listed of linked up blogs that participated this week!

1. What is your favorite outfit pin?
This one, my future Sister and I want to do this at burning man! So pretty.
 



2. What is your favorite food pin?
I make these ALLLL the time during the summer. So easy and fun to eat:





3. What is your favorite wedding pin?
This is one of the first setups that felt like us and I could probably recreate locally. It just so pretty:




4. What is your favorite DIY/craft pin?
This was the first Hoop-making tutorial that I tried and it was successful. Many hoops have been born due to this.




5. What is your favorite quote/verse/lyric pin?





6. Share one more random pin you love.
I have a nature board and this is one of the pictures that inspired it. SO flawless...

As always I hope you participate with us, I love reading these.  If you repost please be sure to link up with the girls above. Part of my Sunday morning is now dedicated to couch time while reading all of these! Have a wonderful weekend.  

Have a wonderful Sunday!

In the wake of Valentine's our world could use more love

In the wake of candy hearts and pink sparkles you would think love has some overwhelming hold on the world. You'd think all the mushy flower-buying saps would have worn off on general society. That trends like galentines day might have brightened this weekend. However I feel like I experienced more F(orget) Valentines day sentiments than ever before. Which really makes me sad. This year I happen to be attached, but I've spent many Valentine's days single and found much more fulfilling ways to celebrate. At the end of the day, what is wrong with a day focused on adoration and telling someone you care about them. If you're having trouble being alone make plans with your girls, send flowers to your sister or take yourself to the spa.I think my conclusion about how to make Valentine's a better day is this: Romantic relationships aren't the only ones you should express you should celebrate. Moms, friends, dads, cousins and even coworkers could use a little spoiling too.

So what prompted this express your love ramble? Looking around my world, regardless of their relationship statuses, too many people need a little extra love. So I guess watching the sulking singles was a little hard for me. I have friends and family waiting on pins and needles over test results, planned surgeries, and simply hoping their loved one wont get worse. My aunt is grieving for a friend who lost her husband, suddenly, without any current answer as to why. A childhood friend and fellow blogger is simply questioning her faith and spending time trying not to panic. My future father in law and his wife spent Sunday at a celebration of life saying goodbye to a friend of 53 years. We live in world with so much pain, and tragedy. So many heart-wrenching tales of pain I wish I could help with, that seeing anger over hallmark's favorite holiday just feels like a waste of energy this week.

So here I would like to challenge you, and will participate myself. Next week, spread more love than sugar on Valentine's day. Take this week to buy an extra cup of coffee, send a friend a cute 'thinking of you' card, call your grandma even if she talks for 45 minutes. Invite that girl at work out for a drink, you know the one that just moved here and doesn't know many people.

I want to make an effort this week to do this as well. Write thank you cards, bring flowers to a friend, drop off a casserole for a neighboring family. I have a list of ideas but also want to hear yours! Please share any kindness you've extended, or wish to extend this week.

Genuine, Authentic, Indubitable

In this mixed up effort to find a more organized life I've been realizing that I must decide what it is I want to be, portray and share about my life. Of course, there are things off limits to the blog, but what exactly am I holding back that maybe shouldn't be. There's something to be said for staying super positive, but when does that come at the cost of being genuine.

Here are some things I do know: I want to share more of my real life (not just fluff), I want to share more of my hometown in all it's glory, I want to share more of my love (not just the person, the entity that is our love), I want to share my struggles and successes as a parent. I want to focus on who I am becoming as much as who I am. So hopes dreams goals and aspirations will be presented. Passions, plans and accomplishments will be more transparent.

I think I set out to make this a journal more than anything, and I fell into something more trivial than that. So be prepared for more lessons and explorations. If you'll bear with me it should be a fun ride. I'd like to tie in more of what I do, what I really desire and why I'm here. Hope you'll stick around.

What do you feel most compelled to blog about?

What would you like to write about more?

What would you like to read about more?

Welcome to Sunday Social

I'm joining Ashley and Neely with their link-up today for Sunday Social!

1. Top 3 favorite kinds of food

Only 3? Hah!

a) Fancy Cheeses, I really love a good cheese board.(here's a way to make a great one: Anatomy of a Cheese Board)
b) Pasta my favorite is tossed with tomatoes, basil, olive oil and cheese. This may be worth a shot soon: Zucchini Noodle
c) Grapes (fermented!) well not just fermented actually, fresh and frozen are often part of my daily snacks.

2. First 3 things you do in the morning

a) let the dogs out
b) drink water
c) fire up the Keurig! mmm coffee

3. Last 3 things you do at night

a) stretch- these are great: Bed Time Stretches
b) drink water
c) put the dogs in their bed

4. 3 TV shows you NEVER miss. forget to DVR.

a) The Walking Dead, b) Parenthood, c) American Horror Story

5. 3 places you want to visit  
(again only 3?)

a) Australia
b) Italy (again so I can take Princess)
c) Africa

6. 3 people you can always count on

a) My momma -to make me a better mom
b) The DJ - to keep me from going batshitcrazy losing sight of what's important
c) James- for a cocktail, history lesson, or giggle

 If you repost please be sure to link up with the girls above. Part of my Sunday morning is now dedicated to couch time while reading all of these! Have a wonderful weekend.

Sunday Social... You know I love a link-up

I'm joining Ashley and Neely with their link-up today for Sunday Social! (I know I know Link-ups are becoming a habit... they're just so fun)

New Year lets introduce ourselves again
1. What is the name of your blog? How long have you been blogging?
 Wild Wine Country Wonder and just restarted this blog in September, but on and off for 4 years.

2. Why do you blog?
 To share a little more of myself and my life, I've always liked to journal because I can look back and re-experience things, blogging helps with that too. I also live in the Napa Valley and have way too much fun sometimes, I feel more people should get to experience this.

3. What is the first blog you ever followed?
 MY Peacetree was and still is one of my favorite blogs by a single author, she is such an inspiring soul. The collection of submissions from the blog over at Hooping.org is another favorite daily stop.

4. What is your favorite post you wrote in 2012?
THIS ONE, sharing the Chocolate Drizzled Popcorn I made for P's class for her birthday. So fun.

5. What are your blogging goals for 2013?
Taking more pictures to share and try to incorporate hooping. There's just not enough hoop love among blogs

6. Top 3 favorite blogs to follow?
Liv With Roses
 Katie Did What
Live Simply-Live Well

Now go steal these questions and link up with one of the ladies tagged above. I want to know more about you too!

Have a delicious Sunday.

Things you don't need to know

I started to make a list of accomplishments I completed and things I will miss for 2013, then I stopped. I choose to not dwell on the past, it is what it is. So instead I choose to expand the whole reason for blogging, to share a little more of myself.

Live Run Sparkle shared this quiz posted by Two Thirds Hazel, and I couldn't resist filling it out. I really love a link-up. The whole aspect of filling out the quiz and adding to the link-up made me happy. It speaks to how we bond as bloggers and share our lives. What a funny little action, here are some random facts about me that I'm sure no one really needs to know, but I may have to admit I spent plenty of time visiting others links.

I'm so curious how other see themselves, expressing yourself and describing yourself are really two quite different things. I'm always happy to express myself, that's why I'm comfortable blogging, that's why I write and pretend I can draw in my notebooks, its why I hoop and dance and crochet. I cannot be wrong at my expressions... However, describing is different, I never have been good at describing myself because in some ways I suppose it could be wrong. There's something precarious in exposing what I think of myself. Which was actually something that snuck up on me while filling this out, something that made me feel vulnerable. So for your own entertainment and me choosing to be a bit out of my comfort zone, here is my list of things, no one needs to know about me.

Please share your link if you fill this out, I'd love to hear any of your answers as well.  So for the last time in 2013, thanks for checking in.

The Femme Fatale

Elizabeth Taylor [was] pre-feminist woman. This is the source of her continuing greatness and relevance. She wields the sexual power that feminism cannot explain and has tried to destroy. Through stars like Taylor, we sense the world-disordering impact of legendary women like Delilah, Salome, and Helen of Troy. Feminism has tried to dismiss the femme fatale as a misogynist libel, a hoary clich?. But the femme fatale expresses women's ancient and eternal control of the sexual realm. The specter of the femme fatale stalks all men's relations with women. -

Camille Anna Paglia

The "femme fatale" the pre-femenist, the woman that believes in dressing up and getting what she wants because she's a woman.The funny thing, is that I've found that these women, those of us open to dresses, heels, cleavage, cupcakes, and shameless flirting... We believe we need men least of all. We find them useful, convenient, even practical at times, but hardly necessary. We can do anything without them. They're always replaceable.

As you may have guessed I've been accused of being lots of things. However, I've never believed being self indulgent is a crime. If I paid for it, or accomplished it under my own means... then I'm not spoiled, I'm successful. My mentality has been changing, I'm refusing to allow myself to hide out again. I'm refusing to even consider being victimized by lonliness.

I will access every power I have, every shred of pride, and make my life what I want it to be.

Your actions are speaking so loud I can't hear what you're saying.

"Your actions are speaking so loud I can't hear what you're saying."
part of SDL's post : Old People Say the Wisest Things 2

I knew what I thought that meant. Then it changed a bit. Or more so I think I was applying it to others, when really it should have been applied inward. How often do we judge, but hate to be judged. Right?

So I've always said I want to be more social, and actually have been making that effort. Shocking I know. There have been game nights, and drinks nights, and Monday involved awesome Turkey Tacos and quite a few bottles of bubbles.

I've also always want to be more artistic and expressive. Which also has been happening more. I'm going through Moleskines like crazy, writing most days, and even doodling a bit. I'd like to get back to full on collage and image focus, but beggars and choosers.

I've also wanted to be more focused on Peyton. Reading and playing, shopping and painting. Visiting the park and the zoo and everything else a little one should have. Which I've been much better about reading with her before bed, spending time with her after dinner, and being proactive on the weekend days.

So its become a full complete juggling act to keep Parenting, Artistic and Social me satisfied, but I'm trying. Really Really trying. Mom and Teal have been watching Peyton quite a bit though. Guilt ensues. So my actions are reflecting my personal wants. However, my intentions are still blurry. So, where do we find the lines, and how do I keep actions, affirmations, and intentions balanced? Or atleasted balanced enough?

Th' avenging fiend, that follows us behind, with whips and stings

Guilt is the source of sorrow, 'tis the fiend,
Th' avenging fiend, that follows us behind,
With whips and stings - Nicholas Rowe

Being a parent is hard. We all know that, but at the end of the day the root of being a good parent is loving them like crazy and doing whats best for them...

Which sounds easier than it is. Not the loving them part... the whats best for them. I knew I was unhappy. I knew I was confused and messed up and lonely and stressed and a million other negative emotions. However I tried to not bring those emotions in to my relationship and interactions with her. I tried to be sure she had time with grandma and auntie and friends and cousins.

I thought I did it well. This weekend taught me otherwise. She was full of it, funny and mischievous, giggly and excited. She played in her room for hours. Pretended to be kitties with Avery, danced and dressed up. I made a joke about how full of it she was. Mom responded with "yes, I guess shes finally back to being happy" - which sort of stopped me in my tracks...

My child was not being as vibrant as she could be, because she wasn't as happy she should have been. Because I wasn't happy. I know she's back and everything is delicious and we're settling in quite well, but to be the parent, that hindered their child's spirit for any amount of time... breaks my heart. She's too young, and growing up too fast anyway.

A Down-Side Up kind of Day

Today went from up to down to back again.

Any change, any loss, does not make us victims.

Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you,

but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented with and moving on.

No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something.

You always have a choice and the choice can be power.
Blaine Lee, "The Power Principle"

"...Come to the edge"

"Come to the edge, He said.

They said, We are afraid.

Come to the edge, He said.

They came. He pushed them...

and they flew."

-Guillaume Apollinaire

the days flee and are restrained by no reign

"Time glides away and as we get older through the noiseless years; the days flee and are restrained by no reign." - OVID

I'm terribly guilty of not working in my art journal for lack of time to properly commit. When I am unable to make a beautiful long artistic page, I don’t even start. This in turn causes a lot less work that I'd like to get done.

I was recently quite inspired by a community post on a livejournal group for journals. Here is a sample of what she posted:
Here is the post into EMBODIMENT: community.livejournal.com/embodiment/1701526.html

I want to do this. I want to have a place to put down SOMETHING everyday. Some of her pages were just a few sentences and a receipt. I have one empty book at home that I didn't quite know where to start. I think this may be my solution.

Anyone else use a similar set up? A daily diary of events; so to speak. I'd love to hear about it.

Mama Pain

Today is a day of Mama Pain. I'm tired today and a bit cranky. And the fact the our building is packed with sulfur dioxide is not helping my chipper mood. And it may not be quite so bad if it weren't for the tunnel we're in already. My family is in the rabbit hole. And we've tumbled past the confusion and been led by the chesire cat... and now we're standing court with the vicious queen of hearts and things are falling apart.



I want to wake up, but alas I am not alseep under the tree. Nor is the queen the queen and king the king.  The King is hope, faith, and strength. The King is the only thing keeping us from being completely overwhelmed and attacked by the Queen. The Queen is Cancer.


Cancer has now stricken 3 relatives at once. 2 more have died in the last 5 years and there were several before that. All of these people are under the realm of my Papa Joe. Papa Joe is one of the strongest people I know. He's been through soo much pain and is still chipper and warm. Still travels and is one hell of a Octogenarian.

That story attributed to Mother Teresa - "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." This is my picture of my Papa, such a strong man that didn't ask for any of this. Never watned the responsibilities, but as the patriarch of 4 generations he takes this obligation with a chin held high and the power of hundreds.

Because of this, of the evil queen and the faith that controls her reign. Because Papa Joe deserves less anguish in his life. Because I've been lacking sleep and peace and solace. Because of every little thing thats been pricking me today, I have a case of Mama pain. Of wanting a place for my child that doesn't hurt so bad.