Tuesday, July 1, 2014

wasting away a sleepless moring

So it's 6 am. I'm having another morning where the silent, nonexistent, imaginary alarm woke me up at 415 and going back to sleep would only turn me into a zombie for the rest of the day. What is it about trying to sneak in one more REM cycle before you alarm actually goes off that dooms you to become the office's hot mess. SO instead I have decided to listen to my dogs snore, the neighborhood birds wake up, and watch the sunrise out my window behind me.

I was going to spend this morning being somewhat productive on a side project I've been working on. No reason to waste the twilight hours right?

Then, instead, I read a few cracked articles, caught up with Whitney, added to 2 of my burning man lists (more on that soon) and removed some of my follows from bloglovin. Sorry but my "pageview" and part of your follow count is actually just me skipping over your blog on my way to something I do care about. I figure I'm not helping either of us.

Now my actual alarm is getting ready to go off and I should start my morning routine... again trying to avoid hot mess status. Because the sun is up I figure I should get this 90 degree day started. Which is another thing I could rant about for a while... I thought I lived in a valley, what is with a week of 100ish temps. I'm tired of being hot and cranky, and even more tired of everyone else being hot and cranky. Now take a moment to realize that is coming from the girl who is willingly going to camp in the desert for a week in August.

But there is quite a difference you see... in the desert they embrace the hot mess!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The San Diego Airport Story

"what do you think I should write about"
"what about you"
"That I'm cute and cuddly and adorable. I have three dogs, and an auntie and a grandma and a whole ginormous family" (Yes, ginormous is in her vocabulary)

This was my suggestion from P today. As we sit in the San Diego airport. Its funny how life imitates art as art imitates life. As she said this all I could say is, "that is just about all I do talk about, love." My good little traveler is continuing to read as I type which is not usually the case. She's much more likely to be watching netflix, creating epic sagas with her mounds of unusual characters in her room, or splashing in the pools with the dogs. It's a little funny to listen to her read the words as they pour out of my head.

Usually we are not sitting in an airport with 4 hours to go before our flight. Even though this week (that I'll recap in a separate post) has been a very busy one, and totally worth it. I could do without 4 hours at the airport. People watching does make it easier.

Airports have always been an interesting place to me, so much transition, so many people mildly anxious about their next step, about all the things that travel brings. New places, new foods, new sights, or smells. So many ready to go home, much like us, you can see it in their faces. Too much sun, maybe also a few too many cocktails. Recovering from days of rich food and super soft beds lead to feeling a little dazed while awaiting our boarding call. Looking for the comforts of home on the other side of this flight.

killing time

Among the typical airport chaos The World Cup is raging on behind me. While I'm not a soccer fan, the whole process is interesting. I'm glad so see the US doing well, and so many cultures brought together. The tiny airport bar, usually only frequented by day drinkers and business travelers that need use of their outlets, is currently standing room only as fans shout, gasp, and sigh with each turn of events. It makes me want to be more passionate about it, but really I'll probably just continue to admire those dedicated fans and read the recaps tomorrow online.

I think I like airports because of the people they bring together. So many faces, going so many different destinations. A million story-lines to be fulfilled. I'm really a little surprised there aren't more stories that involve airports and their travelers, it all seems so full of potential.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Do you belive in Magic?

TV quotes seem to resonate with me quite well lately. I think I've had a lot of shows on as background noise and every once in a while, something a character says strikes me as such a true statement. These phrases seem to ring some bell and make me stop and write them down. Expect quotes in the future... consider this fair warning.

I really liked this - they all want magic but no one believes. Jess Lively just did an amazing podcast with Noah Kagan that really set this phrase worth responding to. She and Noah got into a discussion Jess's view on vision boards. She really explains about how she thinks Vision Boards (at 25:10) are "results focused" and how damaging that can be. The magical answer, but not understanding the magic.

Here is my magical solution - I wanted to experience less stress in my life. The magical part? I wasn't taking any steps to feel that way. Somehow I just expected that while continuing trudging through and continuing to stare at my mile long to-do list, eventually it would just get better. And some days it was better, then I would slip back in, back to coming home, throwing a frozen lasagna in the oven, trying to clean, or start laundry or something. Then getting frustrated. Then ending up sitting down with a glass of wine feeling completely overwhelmed.  Which wasn't working. 

So genuine blogger confession, I'm not entirely sure where to go with this metaphor. I'm currently torn between making a link between a spell book to fix all the problems and the theory that there really is no magic to getting what you want. Just a focused picture of where you want to go. I don't entirely love either of these options.

A spell book sounds too easy, a checklist of ingredients, a few words of incantation and POOF. But in someways its the most accurate to the current situation. I became less stressed out, less overwhelmed and less frustrated by baby steps. Small checklists, chipping away at chores and projects. A schedule and some affirmations to keep me on the right path.

But maybe that spell book is all an illusion, a falsehood, a security blanket. Maybe when we give up our security blanket is the only time we can really shine.